Okay, so today I was eating lunch at my desk, a Sirloin burger from Jack in the Box. Usually I would either get the cheapie 2 dollar burger or head to the Filipino or Mexican joint for cheaper food, but I had coupons.

So one of the people I work with passed by my desk and she said, “Wow, the smells really good, I almost want one myself.” And I said “It’s the most expensive one they got on the menu, but it’s a steak burger. I’d get it from another Jack’s, unless you got a strong stomach.” (My job is in a rural ghetto, and thusly the fast food joints ain’t exactly clean or competently run.)

So get this, she says this:

“Oh, I don’t eat fast food…”

Okay, fair enough, there’s plenty of reasons why a person wouldn’t want to eat fast food, hell, I probably shouldn’t, but I’m lazy and the company fridge is nasty place to store a lunch. However, she continues as she walks to her desk.

“… I think that fast food contributes to the industrialization of food and that giving money to places like that is unethical.”

And inside I’m like “Then what the fuck did you even comment on my food for? To tell me my eating choices are morally questionable?”

Fucking goddamn self-righteous slag. You think I’d be eating fucking Jack’s with clipped coupons if I were two notches up the payscale like you are? Well, maybe I would, but I eat cheap shit mass-produced shit mostly because it’s cheap, and buying fucking organic everything would mean food bills three to four times the cost of what I have now. You think I wouldn’t like to haul in some nice homemade shrimp pesto pasta and salad with goat cheese for lunch? Secondly, unless somehow the laws of time and space have changed, that shrimp and that sauce and those tomatos came from someplace thousands of miles away from Hawaii, and I’m betting the greens and cheese ain’t local either. How did it get here? Buy highly developed systems of harvesting and production. I’m betting it wasn’t no fat Italian lady who went out and picked those tomatos and stewed ’em for you and delivered them to your door with a hearty helping of hand gestures and Sicilian slang. I’m betting some machine picked ’em and they were stewed in a gigantic vat out where the damn label on the bottle said it’s made. Sure you don’t have a heaping helping of 10 syllable coloring and preservative agents in yours, but I’m guessing the salt didn’t come from some dude hauling it off the rocks in the ocean. And from there it was probably carefully packed and flown over (no preservatives!) thousands of miles of the Pacific in a temperature controlled airplane. Sounds pretty damn industrialized to me, you silly cow.

Even if it wasn’t, what are you getting at? That masses of low paid people should sweat over those damn tomatos, to fill them with their toil instead of cold machines? Let me put it this way, it ain’t some hippie farmer who’d be out in the sun tossing tomatos into a bin, nor some self-taught organic gourmet stewing them in the kitchen. It would be masses of underpaid and exploited migrant farmers doing the dull and difficult labor. Oh wait, you’d rather not think about that, right? because giving them a living wage would mean your already jacked up food would triple in price.

Secondly even if your damn statement made a fucking iota of sense, where do you get off getting all morally superior to me, who has little recourse in food choice? If I told some fundie co-worker that I got a burger at ‘McHomos Bar and Grill, home of the Oscar Wilde Wiener and the Santorum Shake’, and they said “Oh, I never eat there. I think giving money to homosexuals is wrong.” they’d get reamed both by the company and by everyone else.

Both statements of them are opinions, both fairly judgmental towards the recipient, and both are fucking moronic. It’s a person’s right to believe whatever they want and say whatever they want, but if you’ve got dick opinions and want to lay them onto others around you, I expect to have the right to call you out on how fucking retarded you are with all the commiserate displeasure you so passive-aggressively ladled out on me thrown back in your face with full aggressiveness.

And I woulda done it too, if I already wasn’t in hot water for doing something like that before, when I ripped into someone who said that people shouldn’t have premarital sex, when told my reason for not living with my parents (it’s a Hawaii thing.)

It’s alright to sanctimoniously patronize people at work if it’s one of those liberal pieties!

And that is why I’m conservative. Because you can’t thump a bible around anymore in public/the workplace outside the rural south, and even then, who really cares what they do in Bumfuck, Alabama. If you’re gay or Wiccan why the hell would you wanna stay there anyways even if they didn’t have a problem with you? The charming meth houses and trailer parks?

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