This is all so fucking fake. Why am I pretending I give a shit about this stuff when it’s not what I think about when I lie in bed at night?
It’s time to be honest with myself. It’s time to leave all the bullshit behind and depart into new sights and sounds.
It’s amazing what the odd compulsion to suddenly buy and play and ukulele has wrought about in me. It really has nothing to do with it in itself, but the sensations of renewal and stirring of feelings in me that have been dead for years. God knows why. It’s like I’ve taken out the earplugs and blindfolds.
I just wanted to say goodbye before I overhaul this place. Goodbye to the world I sorta kinda dabbled in. I’m going somewhere now, I don’t know where, but I’m not standing still anymore. I feel a sensation pulling me.
I really wish I could talk to PatrickH and Clio before I get going, but I don’t think they read here at all.
Oh and on a side note, have you ever noticed that there is a difference between finding beauty in the ugly and just celebrating ugliness. I don’t think most people can catch the distinction anymore.
Well, seeya.
January 27, 2010 at 2:42 am
All the best; good luck to you. But overhaul this place? Why not leave it up? It’s an honest expression of who and what you were about in this time period of your life; why erase it? I understand why people quit blogging; I don’t understand, though, why they feel they must erase what they’ve done, rather than just walk away.
January 27, 2010 at 6:39 am
I’m not deleting anything. I’m just going to be more honest with myself. Frex there’s something ironic about a guy with severe social anxiety to the point of not going to the city for months on end hanging around Game sites, don’t you think?
January 27, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Fair enough. I find online social interaction easier than in person, but mainly in the sense that I can meet and get along with people I ordinarily wouldn’t ever get to meet, in day to day life (due to being from completely different social circles, and for that matter, different continents, often), which I think is a good thing, for me, anyway.
January 29, 2010 at 11:33 am
[...] – and educational – song linked by Spike Gomes last week. Speaking of Spike, it seems he’s packing his bags and leaving the ’sphere. So long and fare thee [...]
January 29, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Dude, good luck. You’re quality.
January 31, 2010 at 4:18 am
Thanks, I’m not so much abandoning the sphere as putting it and other things into practice. Since that involves going out and living and practicing, my online time is going to decrease quite a bit.